


To Be Human Is To Love

by WeirdV



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Bucky gets better, Dialogue, M/M, Sort Of, Steve and Tony talk a lot, Stucky - Freeform, more chapters coming, they become friends again, tony and steve talk it out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-16
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-06-28 10:38:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15705555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeirdV/pseuds/WeirdV
Summary: I saw Infinity war and suddenly I'm Stucky TrashI don't know how it happened





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't had a lot of time to write. Job hunting, bought an apartment, got a new niece. Shit's been crazy.  
> But I saw infinity war and I've been obsessed with Sebastian Stan and Bucky eversince. So join the obsession will you?  
> I might add to this.  
> I know it's not Teen Wolf fanfic, as you're used to. BUt I still love TW, got a convention planned in October. But damn, Seb Stan y'all. He is fine XD

**To be human is to love**

 

“So, why did you do it?” Tony asks from the couch, he sounds arrogant and hesitant in the same breath, in a way only he can.

“You wouldn’t get it, Tony” Steve sighs, taking a swig from the bottle of beer. He drinks it out of habit, a comfort that reminds him of growing up.

“What, having friends?” he gets up, grabbing a glass from the sink and pulling out a bottle of scotch, “I get fighting for your friends, Cap. I just thought I was one of them.”

“You don’t even call me by my actual name” he sighs again, he does that a lot nowadays.

“Oh” he sits down again, his glass in his hand, “I – I didn’t even realize I did that. Didn’t know you hated it.”

“Bucky – we” he swallows, “You can’t tell anyone.”

“Tell them what?”, Steve sits down next to him, placing the bottle on the table and putting his face in his hands.

“We used to share an apartment, you know?” he starts carefully, “Finding work has never been easy as a scrawny kid. We saved up money, asthma medication wasn’t cheap. But we stuck together.”

“I know you went through shit together, Steve” Tony replies, but Steve just lifts his hand.

“Can you just – let me talk? For once?” he says, he takes another deep breath, “Bucky and I stuck together. People used to joke that we were like brothers. But – we weren’t.”

He picks up the bottle again, it’s empty, but he likes to fidget with the paper label, “We didn’t tell anyone. Couldn’t. You can’t imagine how it was like, back then. Now you parade the streets. Back then doing that would get you arrested or killed.”

Tony goes quiet, finally shutting up.

“When he fell. I couldn’t tell anyone. I couldn’t” Steve swallows, “aiming that plane for the ice – it wasn’t some grand gesture. I just wanted it to stop hurting so much” he looks up, “But you had to wake me up.”

“I didn’t know” Tony says quietly, Steve laughs bitterly.

“That was kind of the point” he says, “Can’t have America’s icon be – you know.”

“Things are different now. People don’t have to hide” he reaches out his hand carefully to pat Steve's shoulder, but ends up placing it between them on the couch.

“You know, that’s what I thought at first. But I’ve seen enough things to know that some things are still the same” he takes in a breath again, shuddering slightly, “And then Bucky was on that bridge. Looking at me like I was a stranger. Like I was the enemy.”

“Bucky isn’t – he isn’t that” Rogers says, “Bucky is the man that nursed me back to health after every asthma attack. Who would hold me on cold nights. Sing loud and false in the shower. He could make a meal out of meager means. Make our grimy apartment look like a million dollar villa. He – he’s not… _that.”_

“Maybe he was what you know” Tony says, “But he might not be like that anymore Steve.”.

“He will be” Steve swallows, “And if I can’t – you can just put me back on ice.”

“You don’t mean that” Tony says, surprised.

“You don’t know me Tony” Steve replies, “We have a lot in common. In some ways. Both orphans at a young age. We both feel like we have to help people. But you don’t know _me._ You know Captain America. Not Steve Rogers.”

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all, I'm working on a third chapter too.
> 
> Did not see this coming.  
> Anyways, winter soldier was on yesterday, and my fingers started itching to write again.
> 
> Anyways, for those interested. Last chapter I was looking for a job, rn I am employed fulltime until the end of the schoolyear!   
> Which means I'll be writing more bc no more stress about finding work. :)

 

 

“So what is it now?” Tony Stark asks him, “Did they – fix him?”

“They removed the triggers” Steve says, “He remembers. Most of it.”

“Does he remember… the important things?” there’s a pause after the question, and Steve gives him a hesitant smile.

“Yeah” he says slowly, “Not – not entire memories. But, flashes, and feelings.”

Tony’s fidgeting with his hands, not sure how to proceed. The connection between them is fragile, it got better after Steve’s confession during their last talk. It didn’t magically fix things, but it made him think. Think about how he didn’t actually know Steve Rogers, how he knew Captain America through his dad’s stories. From history books and lectures at school.

He’s making an effort to get to know Steve.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks quietly, “About the two of you?”

“Sometimes, he’ll wake up in the middle of the night, screaming” he tells Tony, “It’s okay, I do that too. War will do that to a person. I’m sure you know from experience.”

“I never went to war, Steve” Tony says, his brows knit together in confusion.

“The battle of New York was a war, Tony” he replies simply, “You went up and fell from the sky. Don’t think I don’t realize what that did to your psyche. I know trauma, physically and mentally.”

“Oh” he stills, “Never thought of it that way. I – I don’t want to talk about it though. I do want to hear about you and Bucky. I feel like you don’t get to talk about it often.”

“Try never” Steve sighs, “Before the war – we pretty much hid. We went on dates by doing double dates. Back then I was still skinny and two steps away from a deadly asthma attack. Buck would set me up, but they usually left halfway through, making me the third wheel.”

“Or making the other girl the third wheel” Tony supplies, making Steve grin.

“I guess” he agrees, “Nights always ended the same though, me and Buck back at our place, close together. Making out until we ran out of air – which was pretty soon for me.”

“Damn”

“Yeah. Another perk of the serum” he smiles again, “When I got him back – during the war when Hydra first got hold of him. We could finally _be together_. And we were stuck in tents. _Fucking tents_. We couldn’t share a bed like we did in Brooklyn, not with all the shared rooms. Especially not with bunk beds. When we finally got some time off, got away from the front lines for a week in between, we took advantage of it.”

“Did people know? About the two of you?” he asks carefully.

“Peggy. I told her after he fell. She said she already knew” he says, “Your father. But the thought I was joking.”

“Seriously?” Tony frowns.

“I knew your dad when he was still chasing after a new girl every week. He’d drag us with him sometimes, when we were free, to clubs and cafes. To bars. It was fun, watching him try to set us up with gals. One night, he’d had a few too much to drink. Tried to get me drunk a few times, but didn’t work after the serum. Anyways, that one night, he and Bucky were wasted.”

“He didn’t”

“He tried” Steve grins, “Used all his charm on Howard, he just laughed. At the end of the night, he got a kiss on the lips. Really chaste, obviously. And then Buck loudly proclaimed that I was definitely the better kisser.”

“Oh god”

“Yeah, he didn’t remember it the following day, though. Maybe for the better” he looks sad again, “After – after, I tried to move on. Peggy was nice, I liked her. Loved her, even. She was a pretty girl, and she liked me. Which was a new experience for the skinny kid from Brooklyn.”

“I always liked her. Dad used to invite her over for dinner every Sunday. She’d tell us stories, about you. About Bucky. About the Howlin Commandos” Tony tells him, “It wasn’t easy to live up to.”

“I can imagine” Steve nods, “I miss him. Really.”

“Me too”

Steve’s phones dings, and he glances at the screen, “I should go.”

“Bucky?” he asks, Steve nods.

“I find myself staring at him sometimes, itching to reach out and touch, but knowing I have to give him time” he swallows, “Every once in a while, I get a flash of him from before the war. In his uniform, coming to my rescue again. I just want to – I can’t.”

He clenches his fists in frustration, “Have you ever loved someone so much it feels like it might kill you?” he asks.

“Yes.”

“Then you understand” he gets up, “I should go home.”

“Steve – I do understand why you chose his side” Tony says, “I really do. And I know he wasn’t himself – and I understand why you did what you did. I just can’t forget about it. Maybe I’ll be able to forgive, along the line, but not forget.”

“I never expected you to, Tony” he admits, “I knew the consequences of my choices. I fully comprehended the damage it would do to our friendship. I just hope we can get to a place where we get along – like today. I enjoyed talking to you.”

“Talking about him – about Bucky” he says slowly, “It helps. I know he was friends with my dad. I just need to know how to separate Bucky Barnes from the Winter Soldier.”

“Thank you, for today” Steve says, they’re standing by the door, halfway through it, “I’ll see you later.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it.  
> Let me know!

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think?


End file.
